Love is Pain
by Miasen
Summary: Logan is feeling torn between what he should do and what he wants to do. His heart screams out for the one girl he should let be, and it makes living at the mansion hard. ROGAN. Third and final chapter out!
1. The Easy Way Out

Title: Love is Pain

Author: Miasen

Rating: M—mostly for safety, and because if I do continue it it'll most definitely need an M-rating.

Pairing: Wolverine/Rogue

A/N: My first Logan-centric story.

* * *

Logan stalked through the mansion, heading for the kitchen. He'd just dropped of his bag in his room after yet another trip to try and learn about his past, but yet again it had been a dead-end. Now that he was back at the mansion he intended to drown his sorrows in the bottle of whisky he'd hidden in his room after grabbing something to eat in the kitchen. Then, if that didn't work he was going to head down to the Danger Room and get out his frustrations on one of the programs there. There was nothing like killing something to get your mind off everything.

When he came close to Rogue's room he slowed down, as he almost always did, his ears open for whatever sounds came from it. He hadn't wanted to admit it to himself why he did it when Rogue was new at the mansion. He tried to convince himself that it was to make sure she was doing alright, seeing how she was new and all. But then he kept it on, long after Rogue was well settled on the mansion. He said it was to make sure Popsicle wasn't doing anything to her, and then to make sure she was alright after having taken the cure. There was always some explanation that was decent, but none of them was really true. He did it because he couldn't stop thinking about her, about her luscious lips, her eyes, her body. He'd tried not to think about her like that, she was too young, too innocent, but he couldn't help himself. She made it utterly impossible.

He shook his head. He couldn't think about her like that, he just couldn't. She'd grown since she first came to the mansion together with him—she was twenty now—but she was still too young, too innocent. She had her Popsicle-that creep Bobby Drake—and she seemed happy enough with that. And her happiness was more important to him than his feelings for her.

Just as he walked past her door he heard a sound from inside, and even if he'd just decided to let her be alone, he stopped. When it came to Rogue he had a problem keeping his intentions pure.

At first he thought he had heard wrong, that there was nothing, but then he heard it again, just a small sound, like a sob. He stepped closer to the door and leaned against it, pressing his ear against the wood. He heard it clearly now, there was someone inside, someone who was crying. And seeing how it was Rogue's room it had to be her.

For a moment he hesitated, not sure if he should let her be alone or not. Then, with a deep breath he lifted one hand and knocked on the door. He could hear noises from inside: the rustling of clothes as she got to her feet, a deep intake of breath, a small cough, and then feet walking across the floor.

As the door opened he saw Rogue peek out. Her eyes were red, there were streaks down her face where tears had dried and her hair was messy. But she was still the most beautiful thing Logan had ever seen, and it hurt him just seeing her like this.

"Rogue, what's wrong?" he asked, and Rogue quickly diverted her gaze to the floor. The white streak of her hair slid forwards, hiding her face from view. He wanted to stretch out a hand and brush it away, but he was afraid of it. The fierce Wolverine was afraid to touch a young woman. Earlier he could have blamed the fact that touching her skin could kill him, but ever since she took the cure she was as touchable as any other girl. And maybe that was what frightened him the most. That what he wanted was a physical possibility now. Her skin no longer stood in the way, and that meant that it could happen. It shouldn't happen, but technically, it could.

Logan knitted his hand into a fist, his nails digging into the soft flesh of his palm. He couldn't think of her like this. She deserved someone better than him, someone less complicated. And she had that already Logan remind himself of. Rogue had Bobby, and he certainly was less complicated than himself.

"It's nothing," he heard Rogue whisper, but anyone could have heard that it was just a lie. Something was wrong, and Logan wanted to know what. That way he could kill whoever had hurt his Rogue. _Bobby's Rogue_, he had to remind himself as he dug his nails harder into his palm. He could feel the nails digging through the flesh, the quick sting as he pierced it and blood trickled out of the half-moon wounds. He relaxed his fingers, and almost instantly the wounds healed, leaving no traces behind except a few drops of crimson blood.

"Rogue, please don't lie to me, I know there's something wrong." Logan dried off a hand on his pants, the blood barely visible against the dark denim, and then he extended the hand towards her. Inches away from her he hesitated, but then he reached forwards, touching her chin with a light touch. Slowly he lifted her face so she looked at him again. Her brown eyes met his and he felt something tighten in the pit of his stomach. He wanted her so badly, he needed her. Every cell of his body screamed out for her. His skin wanted to touch hers, his heart wanted to belong to her. Only his mind said no. Insisted that he should let her be, save her from the pain that was Logan, let her live her life in peace.

"Please Rogue, tell me what it is," Logan pleaded. No other woman had ever made him feel like this, no one could have made him plead like this, no one but Rogue.

"It's nothing Logan; just…I can deal with it okay?" Rogue bit her bottom lip, and all Logan wanted to do was to kiss those lips and make it all better. But it wouldn't make it better; it would only make it worse, so he looked away, eyes locked on her eyes and not her tempting lips.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what is wrong. I can stand her all night if that's what it takes." He lowered his hand from her chin and crossed it in front of his chest. Then he heard Rogue sigh, and he knew he had won.

"Come on in then," she said and turned around, walking into her room. Logan followed, pulling the door shut behind him.

Rogue settled on the very edge of the bed, her hands folded in her lap, her eyes staring at the floor. Logan settled at a safe distance, leaning against the wall, his hands still folded in front of him. "So, tell me what's wrong," he said.

"It's nothing really, it's just…Bobby…" Rogue started, but her voice cracked. Logan just waited, not saying anything, letting her have her time.

"He…He dumped me okay?!?" Rogue said, her voice rising for every syllable. It was like all her sadness was rapidly being replaced with anger and Logan didn't blame her.

"The ass dumped you? That's what you're so upset over?" Logan had feared that there was something seriously wrong, but this, this wasn't that bad was it?

"Yeah, he fucking dumped me, okay? See, I told you it wasn't anything you needed to worry about." Rogue folded her arms across her chest just like Logan and looked at him, anger obvious in her gaze. Logan wasn't sure if it was directed mostly at him or the Popsicle.

"Well, that's nothing to be too upset over is it? You should be happy to be rid of him."

"What would you know about that? I can be as sad as I want! If you haven't noticed it we've been together for years, and not everyone is as insensible as you Logan! So just forget all about it and get lost!" Rogue got to her feet and glared at him from across the room.

"What the hell are you angry with me for? I'm not the one who dumped you, Rogue, unless you've already forgotten it, but it was Bobby, so don't yell at me!"

"I'll yell at you all I want! You insisted to know, and then you just shrug it off like my feelings aren't worth a damn! Why did you want to know anyways, you obviously don't care!" There was no trace left of her sadness, it was all anger, and it was all directed at him, but even if she yelled at him he couldn't get angry at her, he just wanted to sweep her up in his arms and kiss her.

"It's not your feelings that ain't worth a damn, it's that asshole Bobby! If he can't appreciate being with you then he ain't worth a single tear."

"He's all I had Logan, no one cares about me here, no one! I don't fit in; I'm not even a mutant anymore. I might as well just pack my stuff and leave!"

"What, like you did before when you left your home? Something is wrong and you just leave? Do you really think that's going to help?"

"Well, it's all you do ain't it, shouldn't you know? Something goes wrong and you leave for weeks at a time. No one knows when or if you'll come back. Has it ever helped you?" Rogue spat out, her voice tinted with venom. Logan didn't know what to say. On some level maybe she was right, but she didn't know how it was not to know who you were. That was why he left, to figure out who he was, to learn about his past. Not to escape anything. Or maybe..?

Logan shook his head. "It's not the same thing Rogue. You have people here that care about you, and you know that. You can't leave; this is your home now."

"No one here really likes me, they still shy away from me, even if it's well over a year since I took the cure. They fear that my powers might kick back in. They fear getting close to me, even Bobby did." Rogue's voice dropped to a whisper.

"I don't fear you Rogue, you know that." Logan said. He hadn't feared her powers when they were active, he sure as hell didn't fear them when they were gone. All he feared was his own feelings for her.

"I can see you flinching whenever I get close Logan. Don't you think I notice? You fear it as much as everyone."

"It's not your powers I fear, it's me!" Logan roared. He couldn't stand the accusations; he had to let her know that it wasn't her he feared, not in the way she thought.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rogue said, her voice showing off her confusion.

"I love you Rogue, I've always loved you. That's why I don't see Bobby dumping you as a bad thing, because then a small part of my brain thinks that maybe this is my time, that you'll want to be with me now. That's what I fear Rogue, that's why I can't have you too close, I can't control myself then. I know better, I know that I can never have you, I don't want you to be with me, but at the same time I want nothing more than to be with you. But I'm too old, and I'm too messed up, and you need someone else." Logan regretted it the instant he had said it, but there was no way he could take it back now.

"I'm sorry," he said as he turned around and started walking towards the door. He needed to get out so he could think clear again. Being around Rogue always made him confused.

As he grasped the doorknob with one hand he felt a petite hand on his shoulder. Slowly he turned around, meeting Rogue's stare. Her eyes were big, a look of surprise still present on them.

"I'm sorry," he said again and tried to lift away her hand, but she tightened her grip on his shoulder.

"Do you mean that?" she asked, and Logan sighed. There was no point in denying it, what was said was said. He nodded.

He could see Rogue bit her lip again, and then she laid a hand on his cheek. He couldn't help it, and his eyes slid close as he leaned into that touch. Then he could feel something soft against his lips, and his eyes opened at once, and he pulled away. She'd just kissed him. It was all he had ever dreamed about, but he couldn't let her do that. He couldn't allow himself to ruin her life.

"Rogue, I'm sorry. You are just confused, you don't want this, trust me." He took the hand she still had against his cheek and gently pushed it away.

"Well, yeah, of course I'm confused, how could I not be? But believe me, I do want this." Her lips were set in a small pout, and she sounded so very sincere. He looked down into her eyes, felt the scent of her filling every pore of his being, and he couldn't control it anymore. He just needed her, he needed her so badly. He grabbed Rogue by her shoulders and pulled her close, his lips crashing down on hers. He'd wanted this for so long. He'd tried to forget her, tried to think of something else. Tried to drown his need for her with booze, but it just wouldn't work. Tried to get his thoughts off her with violence and other girls and he didn't know what. Nothing worked. He simply wanted Rogue, needed her, and he had for a very long time.

At first she stood rigid, but then she opened up to the kiss, her lips moving against his, and when he coaxed them open with his tongue her own eagerly met his. He felt like he was drowning in the sensation that was Rogue, and that little voice in his head that kept on insisting that he should leave her alone to live her life was quiet for a moment, but then it roared up with full power.

Logan pushed Rogue away and clenched his eyes shut for a moment to clear his mind. He couldn't do this, he just couldn't.

"I...I'm sorry Rogue, I shouldn't have done that." Logan stepped back from her; ashamed of what he had done, hating himself for not being able to control himself.

"Why do you keep apologising Logan? Don't you think I have feelings for you too Logan? How couldn't you have noticed? I thought you hated me, so I gave it up, called it a stupid teenage crush and let Bobby take me out on a date. But all the time I was with him, I could never truly forget about you. It wasn't a stupid crush, and I knew that." Rogue was staring at him now, her hands crossed in front of her chest again, and her voice was eerily calm, only a hint of tears in her eyes betraying her feelings.

"I…" Logan didn't know what to say, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You shouldn't feel like that. I'm no good for you, and you know that. You need someone on your own age, someone who can take care of you and not mess you up."

"Fuck that Logan, how can you know what I need? I tried that whole "normal relationship" thing and, as you might have noticed, that didn't work out too well." Rogue threw her hands up in the air, seemingly annoyed with him.

"That's the only reason you are saying this Rogue. You're upset because he broke up with you. It's normal, but believe me, I'm not the guy you want to be with now. I can never be the guy you need."

"I'm not upset because he broke up with me! Now I'm only pissed because you are treating me like I'm five years old and can't think for myself. But I'm twenty years old, Logan, and I know what I feel. I might not have wanted to admit it to myself, but it's true no matter what. I care about you Logan, more than I ever cared about Bobby or anyone else," A small tear trickled down her cheek, and Logan wanted to brush it away, but didn't. "I want you Logan; I've always wanted you…" Rogue added in a whisper, her eyes drifting to the floor.

"Believe me Rogue, this is not what you truly want," Logan said. It felt as if his heart was breaking just saying the words. Rogue had just told him everything he had ever wanted to hear, but he just couldn't do this. She was hurt, and she needed comfort, but he couldn't provide the comfort she needed. It would only cause her more pain.

"I'm sorry about this," he said and turned away from her, pulling open the door and quickly stepping out in the hallway. As he closed the door behind him he heard a sob from inside. He never should have gone into her room in the first place, he'd ruined everything now, he truly had. With a last look at her door he set off down the hallway, heading straight for his room. He couldn't stay here now, he had to give her some room so she could forget him and get over Bobby on her own. He grabbed the bag he'd dumped in the room earlier and tossed in some clean clothes, leaving the dirty ones on the floor. The he grabbed the bottle of whisky he had intended to drink earlier and stuffed that in the bag as well. With a sigh he set off. There was no one up at this time of night, so no one saw him walk out to the garage and get his bike. He looked up at the mansion one last time, searching for the window he knew where Rogue's, but the lights were all out. He sighed and started the bike. Once again he went for the easy solution. He left.

* * *

A/N: So, what do you think? I'm still not sure if I shall leave it like this and call it a one-shot, or comtinue it. Anyhow, reviews would be very much appreciated! 


	2. Return of the Wolverine

A/N: Well, it only took me about half a year to finish the second chapter, but here it is! Enjoy!

Chapter Two: Return of the Wolverine

Logan downed the beer in his hand and slammed it rather forcefully down on the table, where it joined several others. He'd spent the entire evening in this seedy bar, slowly going through bottle after bottle of beer. His healing power ensured that he didn't get too drunk, both a curse and a blessing. Being drunk would have meant he could finally forget about Rogue, if only for a short time, but being drunk could also mean he'd end up doing something stupid, like calling her.

He had hoped spending some time on the road might help him forget what happened between him and Rogue the last time he came to the mansion, but now, three weeks later, he still could feel her lips on his, still couldn't think about anything but her.

Angrily he pushed back his chair and stood. This wasn't helping one bit. He threw down some money on the table, enough to pay for the beers he'd gone through, and then he left the bar, heading for the motorcycle that had once belonged to Cyclops. But Summers was dead now, and he had been for a year. Logan actually missed him in a way. They'd always been fighting, but Summers really was a decent guy under all that stuck-up leader façade.

Logan pushed the thoughts of his old team-mate from his mind. He had enough to worry about. Like what the hell he was going to do now. Obviously him being on the road didn't make him forget about Rogue, but maybe it had made her forget about him? With a small sigh he started the motorcycle and headed out of the parking lot. For a moment he hesitated, and then he turned onto the road in the direction of the mansion. It was a long drive, and he wouldn't get there in hours. More than enough time to change his mind.

* * *

As the sun broke over the horizon Logan could finally see the mansion ahead. It looked exactly like it had when he left, but then again, it always did. He'd come back here enough times to know that by now.

He left his bike in the garage and walked up the path to the entrance on heavy feet. He was still not sure if coming back was a good idea, but now that he was here he might as well get some decent food and a good night's sleep in a bed that didn't smell of old sweat and other bodily fluids.

The mansion was quiet—it was still early in the morning—so Logan walked straight to his room without being interrupted. The room was exactly like it had been when he left, and his bed looked very tempting. He shrugged off his leather jacket and fell down on the mattress, falling asleep almost instantly, still in his jeans and boots.

As he woke, hours later, the first thing he did was set off towards the kitchen. This time, as he passed Rogue's room, he walked on, not slowing down. He met the occasional student on his way, but most of them just scuttled off, paying little or no attention to him.

As he walked into the kitchen he regretted it instantly. There was one other person sitting there already, and of course it had to be Rogue. Logan wanted to turn around and go back, but Rogue turned around and looked at him. He cursed silently, but nodded in greeting.

"Hey, Logan," she said plainly and turned back to her meal. Logan just stared at the back of her head. He had been hoping that she would have forgotten about that night, but he hadn't thought that she actually would, not like this at least. She was being so…casual, like he was just an acquaintance of her, that he'd never told her he loved her and that she'd never said the same to him. But now he was confusing even himself, so he just shook his head and got some food out of the fridge. He'd gotten what he wanted, she had obviously forgotten all about it, so shouldn't he be happy now?

"So, how's everything?" he asked warily as he took a bite of his sandwich.

"Fine," she said, not even turning back to look at him.

"And Bobby?"

"I don't know, and I don't care," she said, her voice eerily empty of emotions.

He finished his meal in silence, leaning against the counter, all the time looking at Rogue, waiting for something to happen. But she ate her own meal and didn't say a single word to him, not until she finished and pushed back her chair.

"Storm said that I should tell you to meet up in the Danger Room at five if I saw you." And with that she left. For a moment he just stared after the now closed kitchen door in confusion. Then he shook his head and looked up at the clock on the wall. It was already 4:45, so he quickly made his way downstairs to get changed and ready. He shouldn't be surprised that Storm was setting him to work already. She hated it when he left, and this was her little revenge: setting him to train the students in the Danger Room. But as long as she didn't try and get him to teach any home economics classes he wasn't going to complain.

As he stepped out of the locker rooms and over to the door that lead into the Danger Room he was a little surprised when there was no one there. Usually the kids were eager to train in the Danger Room and came on time. But now the hallway was deserted but for himself.

He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed before him and waited. Rogue had said five, so they should be here soon. It was only a minute past, so they were probably just going late. He'd just have to let them work extra hard to make up for it.

Soon he heard the familiar sound of the elevator doors opening. He glanced over just as Rogue stepped out of the elevator. She wore a pair of black sweatpants and a dark green t-shirt. It looked like she was among those due for a Danger Room session, and Logan wasn't sure what he thought about that. He wanted to act casual, but whenever she was around that was just plain difficult.

She walked over to him, but stopped and leaned against the wall on the opposite side of the corridor. For a moment they just stood in silence, and he did his best to avoid staring at her.

Suddenly the silence was breeched by an insistent ringing. Logan looked around, momentarily confused, then realised that it was a communication device mounted on a wall that was making the sounds. He walked over to it and pressed the button to open up for a conversation. The voice through the speaker was easily recognised as that of Storm.

"Logan, there's been an accident. Jubilee blew up the TV and I don't think her or Kitty will be able to come down to the Danger Room session. Has Rogue shown up?"

Wolverine was not surprised to hear about the accident, stuff like that seemed to happen every day at the mansion. "Yeah, she's here," he told Storm and cast a glance over at Rogue. She was looking the other way, her stance with her arms crossed before her chest, perfectly mimicking how he'd been standing just moments earlier. He wasn't sure if that was her intention or if it was accidental.

"Good. Then I think it will only be the two of you, is that okay?"

For a moment Logan didn't know what to say. Just him and Rogue in the Danger Room? And since Rogue had abandoned her powers it was going to be a lesson of close combat. Martial arts, kicks and punches, possibly sparring. Logan turned away so he wasn't facing Rogue. He was not going to mess things up, he was going to act casually, like she was just one of the students at the mansion and he was one of the teachers. Nothing weird about that at all. "Yeah, we'll be fine, Storm," he said and pushed the button that broke contact between him and Storm in the headmistress' office.

He turned towards Rogue. "You ready?" For a moment Rogue just looked at him, then she pushed away from the wall and nodded. Logan opened the door and took a deep breath to calm himself.

* * *

The session turned out to be torture to Wolverine. He'd kept the Danger Room plain, with only a punching bag in the middle for Rogue to use. He'd shown her some moves, and watched as she tried to repeat them. But she was moaning and grunting and making all kinds of noises that drove him crazy. And soon a fine sheen of sweat spread on her skin, and that drove him crazy as well. It was as if the scent of her was multiplied and attacked his senses. He'd had to turn away for a moment to get control of himself again. He just wanted to grab her and throw her to the ground and attack those perfect lips of hers with his own.

As he turned back he saw that Rogue had stopped punching the bag and was staring at him. Her left hand was resting on her slightly cocked hip, and her right was drying away the sweat that was dripping down her forehead. For a brief second Logan got the image of licking those drops of sweat away, but he shook his head and filed that in the 'forget about it' file in the back of his brain.

"You okay there?" Rogue asked.

"Yeah, nothin' wrong here. What about you? Too tired to continue?"

"You wish," Rogue said, and there was a gleam to her eyes that made Logan's breath catch in his throat.

"Don't you get all cocky now."

"Or else?"

Logan couldn't help but to smile at her obvious invitation for some sparring. If that was what she wanted then he sure as hell wasn't going to stop her. He'd show her to never get too cocky, that in the field that could have devastating consequences. He shrugged off his zip-up sweater, which left him in only a white wife beater. "Or else you'll have to fight me," he said with a grin.

"Oh, you are on," she said, and suddenly darted towards him. Logan easily parried her kick.

"You have to do better than that, darlin'!" he said with a chuckle.

"Oh, you haven't seen anything yet, sugar," she retorted.

And she was right. It had only been warm-up. She had gotten a lot better than he'd ever believed, and she was delivering kicks and punches like a whirlwind. He actually had to concentrate to block all her blows. But, even if she'd improved greatly, she had a long way till she could beat the Wolverine.

As she made a mistake and sacrificed her defence for an offensive attack he took his shot, grabbed her, and flipped her to the ground. She landed on her stomach with a heavy thud accompanied with a groan. For a moment Logan was afraid she was hurt, but then she uttered a stream of profanities that almost had him blushing, and he understood that the only thing that was hurt was her pride. He couldn't help but to chuckle, something that earned him a nasty glare. "I think you need a little more practise," he said, earning himself yet another glare.

But then she truly surprised him. In the blink of an eye she got to her feet and jumped up on his back. Before he could react she had her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms around his throat. "And you need to keep your guard up," she whispered into his ear. "If I still had my powers you would be toast right about…" she waved a hand before his face before she rested it on his collarbone, "…now."

That small touch of skin against skin had Logan going crazy again. He hated himself for being so easily affected by her. They were just having a friendly sparring, nothing else, and he knew that. He really needed to get a grip on himself, and he needed to get it now.

"Toast huh?" he said and grabbed her hand. "But darlin'. You don't have your powers anymore." With ease he flipped her over his shoulder. Only his hands on hers kept her from falling to the floor.

Again all he got was a glare, but now it wasn't from Rogue lying sprawled on the floor, but Rogue standing just a foot or two away from him. He dropped her hands like he'd burned himself.

Rogue's glare faded to be replaced by a different look, one he wasn't sure how to interpret. For a moment they just looked at each other, neither saying anything, neither doing anything. The only sound to be heard was her heartbeat. His enhanced hearing allowed him to hear how it quickened. It had already been pounding, from working out and sparring, but now it beat even harder. A faint blush crept to Rogue's cheeks, and her eyes seemed to almost sparkle.

He couldn't help himself anymore, all those little hints told him one thing: Rogue hadn't forgotten about him, this was affecting her as much as it was affecting him. Slowly he leaned in towards her, his lips yearning to meet hers. He could see her head tilt and lips opening slightly in anticipation of what was to come, and he knew she wanted it as much as he did, he just knew it.

Just as their lips were inches away Logan heard voices outside, and seconds later the doors to the Danger Room slid open. Rogue and him leapt away from each other, trying their very best to look inconspicuous. He wasn't sure either of them managed well, but Bobby and Peter who now came in the door didn't seem to notice anything weird.

"You finished?" Bobby asked, and with a quick glance at Rogue Logan nodded.

"It's all yours," he said and quickly made his way out of the room. He didn't stop and wait for Rogue, just set of towards his room. All the way he beat himself up about it. How could he be so stupid, how could he end up almost kissing Rogue when he well knew that he shouldn't? He knew he couldn't be with her, he should know better than that. He was a grown man for fuck's sake! And Rogue was just barely a woman. There was no way they could ever be together, and he didn't know why he was doing this, why he was making it so difficult on himself.

Next time, he promised himself, next time he'd do better and leave the poor girl alone to get over whatever little crush she might think she had on him. She deserved so very much better than him.


	3. Conflicting Emotions

A/N: What do you know, the third chapter took yet another six months or so to write. I think it's a good thing this is the last one or it would take me years to finish it! It's actually exactly one year ago since I posted the first chapter. Uhm, and just a warning, this is the chapter where the M-rating really comes to play, if you catch my drift? Graphic sex, a few bad words, and all that good stuff. So if ya don't wanna read that, then step away from the fic. Consider this your final warning. XD

Chapter Three: Conflicting Emotions

Logan sat by himself at the breakfast table the next morning. He'd been lying wide awake most of the night, tossing about in bed and trying not to think about Rogue. And failing miserably at it. No matter what he tried to think about it was always her that seemed to be on his mind. It was literally driving him crazy.

He wished there was something he could do to forget about her, like he had forgotten so much about his life, but at the same time he didn't want to forget about her. He wanted to be with her, but he couldn't be with her. Logan usually had a solution that worked for most problems: kill it. But that just wouldn't cut it with this problem.

He'd just have to stay away from here, something that was easier said than done when one lived in the same house. He could always leave, but he'd tried that, and it hadn't worked.

No, he'd just have to keep his primal urges in a leash, keep the animal in him in a cage. He couldn't involve himself with her, not like that. She was too young, too good, too… He was starting to run out of excuses.

Logan found that he had no appetite and shoved the plate with breakfast away and stood up abruptly. The chair he was sitting on nearly toppled backwards by the sudden movement, but he grabbed it with an annoyed grunt and steadied it before he hurriedly left the kitchen and headed up the stairs.

Logan walked through the hallway, and as he neared her room he walked faster, just wanting to get away from temptation as quickly as possible. He had a few beers stashed away in his room, and he felt that this was the time to kill those. Molson was a great friend when he was feeling bad; the Canadian beer never let him down.

He almost slowed down when he walked past Rogue's room, but he managed to keep going. He really needed to get a grip on himself, this was getting pathetic. He was the Wolverine. Strong and virtually indestructible. But now he was falling apart, all because of a girl just turned twenty. He was acting like a hormone-driven teenager, and that would just not do.

He stomped through the hall, ignoring the few kids that gave him frightened glances as he went past them. One girl actually squealed as he walked past her, but he couldn't care less. He knew the younger mutants regarded him as a brute, and many was just a little bit afraid of him, but he really didn't care, not now at least. He had too much else on his mind.

The hallway divided up into two farther up, and just as he was about to go straight ahead he heard sound from the hallway that took off to the right. Usually he would have just walked on, but this voice was very familiar, and it made him stop abruptly.

"Thanks Warren," Rogue said, and Logan's eyes narrowed. What had the winged mutant done to earn her thanks? He really wanted to peek around the corner to see what was going on with Rogue and Warren. He could tell that it was only the two of them, his heightened senses ensured that. What was flyboy doing all alone in an abandoned hallway with _his_ Rogue?

Logan realised that what he was thinking was stupid, but he just couldn't help himself. Rogue might not be his, but he really, _really_ didn't want to share her. He could feel the jealousy erupt like a flame in his chest, growing stronger, fuelled by the words he could hear from around the corner.

"No problem, Marie, anytime you need anything, I'm here."

Logan snarled. He really didn't like the way Warren was using Rogue's real name so casually.

"You really are an angel, Warren." Rogue chuckled, probably because she just realised what she'd just said. Logan loved her laugh.

"Uhm, Rogue…" Warren's voice was hesitant, and Logan just knew what was going to come now, and he felt that flame of jealousy in his chest turn into a roaring fire. His hands fisted, and his claws were just itching to burst out from his knuckles.

"Would you… uhm… like to go out with me sometime?"

Logan actually had to dig his nails into the soft flesh of his palms to make sure he didn't do anything stupid now, like run around that corner and kick Warren's scrawny ass. He actually had the nerve to ask Rogue out! That little rich kid was not good enough for Rogue. Come think of it, Logan couldn't think of anyone that would be good enough for Rogue. He had wanted her to find someone other than him, someone that was worth being with her, but Logan wasn't sure there were any such people about; Rogue was just too good, to beautiful, too perfect. No one could match that.

For a moment neither Rogue nor Warren said anything else. Logan could just imagine Rogue's face trying to find the right words to tell Warren to go die. Because she had to realise that she couldn't go out with Warren, that he wasn't good enough for her. Surely she had to see that?

"I'd like that, thanks."

Logan's eyes widened, and before he could stop himself he peeked around the corner. Rogue and Warren were standing a little way down it, way too close to one another. Warren had his back to Logan, but was easily recognised by the brilliantly white wings that protruded from his back. Logan could just make out Rogue standing in front of Warren, and as he watched Rogue went up on her toes and kissed—KISSED—Warren on the lips. Just a quick peck, but it was still a kiss.

Logan pulled away and leaned his forehead against the wall where Rogue wouldn't see him. The jealousy was spreading through his body now, and he couldn't help himself any longer. His claws slid out of their housings in his arms and lodged themselves in the wall.

For a moment he just stood like that, claws in the wall, head again wall, a snarl on his face. But then he heard footsteps approaching, and quickly pulled out his claws and leaned against the wall with his back instead, hiding the six easily recognisable holes with his body. As he tried to look casual he saw Storm walking down the hallway towards him.

Of course she stopped to talk to him. Asking why he was just hanging around like he was, wanting to know if he could take on a couple extra kids in his Danger Room sessions. Logan just nodded in affirmation and wished she would move on so he could go back to his room and drink his beer and scream out his frustrations.

When Storm finally was finished and left Logan was quick to peer around the corner to see if Rogue was still there with that winged thing, but they were both gone. Logan whispered a few choice words that would earn him nasty glares if Storm had heard them spoken around the kids and stalked off down the hallway towards his room.

He slammed the door shut behind him rather forcibly, and it was a wonder it was still fastened to the doorframe and not lying out in the hallway. With a groan Logan walked into his bathroom and turned on the taps of the sink, letting the water run until it was freezing cold. He splashed some on his face in a futile attempt to cool off, but all it resulted in was annoying cold streams of water running down his neck and down his chest.

His hands gripped the sink as he stared into the mirror fastened on the wall. He was feeling so damned confused. This thing with Rogue was really messing him up badly. He wasn't used to being this torn up over some girl, or at least he couldn't remember ever being. Well, okay, so that thing with Jean had been a bit fucked up though, if he were to be completely honest. Maybe he had always been like this, before Alkali Lake had ripped away his memory and turned him into the Wolverine. That was the problem, he wasn't just Logan, a guy too old for a girl like Rogue, he was also Wolverine. A fighter, a killer, an animal. He could never be just Logan, the animal was always around, lurking in his brain, ready to break free and kill whatever came in the way.

His knuckles whitened as he gripped the sink tighter, and he knew that if he didn't let go he would probably end up breaking the porcelain. He was frustrated, angry, confused, and he needed to get all that out on something, and in the mansion there was a place that was so much better suited for that purpose than his bathroom; The Danger Room.

Hastily Logan dried off some of the water still making a path down his face and neck and headed out towards the hallway. Maybe he could think clearer if he got to spend an hour killing holograms. That always seemed to help.

It was a good idea, and it might have worked if he hadn't run straight into the one person he didn't want to see the moment he stepped out into the hallway. Rogue grunted as he slammed into her and if he hadn't acted quickly she would have probably fallen to the floor, but he got an arm hooked around her waist and pulled her to her feet. She stared up at him, her eyes wide in surprise, and suddenly all his good intentions just ran out in the sand. He couldn't help himself, and was completely controlled by his instincts as he pulled her closer to him and kissed her fiercely.

To his surprise Rogue didn't seem surprised by this at all, and she didn't freeze or pull away, but wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Her tongue soon traced along his bottom lip, and his own was quick to dart out and greet it.

Suddenly his reasoning took over control over his brain, and he realised what he was doing, and where he was doing it. Quickly he pulled away from Rogue and took a step back to get some much needed space between them. Luckily no one had walked past them, so this was all salvageable. He just needed to apologise to her and then take a long cold shower.

"I didn't mean to do that, I'm sorry," he said quickly.

Rogue stared at him, her eyes narrowing into a glare. "Can you stop apologising for every damned thing you do? I'm all grown up, Logan, I am capable of making decisions of my own, and if I didn't want this I would have told you so."

"Rogue, Marie, I can't do thi—" his explanations was interrupted when he heard someone come in their direction. Not wanting anyone to hear this argument he grabbed Rogue by her upper arm and pulled her into his room, shutting the door behind them. He leaned back against the door and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to find the right words to make her understand that they couldn't keep on doing this.

"Logan, look at me," Rogue said, and there was something in her voice, a very demanding tone, so Logan did as she said and looked at her, his eyes meeting hers.

"You listen to me now, and don't interrupt me until I am done. I am twenty years old; I am not a kid anymore. I make my own decisions when it comes to who I want to be with, and I don't need anyone telling me who I can and can't be with. And it is you I want to be with, and I know you want it as well, you are just too damned afraid to defile my innocence or some crap like that. But, Logan, sugar, I ain't innocent, not in the least." The last was said in a purr that could be described as nothing but seductive, and it sent sparks straight to his groin.

Logan had no idea what to say to her, it seemed like his mind had taken a permanent vacation and left his libido in charge. And fuck, Rogue was looking so damned hot with the mischievous grin that played over her lips, and she had just told him that she wanted him, even if that pretty boy Warren had asked her out just a moment ago. The jealousy he had experienced when she kissed Warren was not something he wanted to experience again, and maybe the best way to do that was to do what he wanted to do so badly, be with her and just forget about all the things that spoke against it. He wanted her, she wanted him, why should he ever care about anything else?

Gently he lifted his hands and cupper her face in his hands. "It ain't too late to say no, you know? If you don't want this, just..." He shut up when he saw her glare. Maybe it really was time to shut up now and just claim those pouting lips.

Unlike the other times this was gentle. He took his time as he moved in and softly brushed his lips over hers. They were so incredibly soft, and tasted faintly of raspberry.

One of Rogue's hands rested on his upper arm as they explored each other's mouth. There was nothing desperate over this, it was gentle and caring and...So unlike him. Now that they had begun Logan found it harder and harder to control himself, and all he wanted to do was ravish her mouth, slam her up against the wall and have his way with her. Purely animalistic.

Suddenly Rogue pulled away from the kiss, and her breath fanned across his lips as she mumbled, "I'm not going to break even if you are a bit rough, ya know?" She grinned up at him, her eyes shining with lust and mischief, a dangerous combination that did him in. He didn't waste any time and soon his lips were crashing against hers while his arms were wrapping around her, pulling her body against his larger frame. Rogue moaned into the kiss, but didn't seem to have anything against the change as she wound her arms around his neck and pressed herself even closer to him.

He didn't just kiss her anymore, he was devouring her. Tasting every nook and cranny of her mouth, battling with her tongue, doing everything he hadn't even dared think of doing. And she was just so damned responsive! Her tongue followed his, just as eager in its explorations, and she made these small sounds, moans and purrs and it was driving him crazy with lust.

His hands slid down her back and with a firm grip on her backside he jolted her into the air and carried her over to the bed, dropping her onto it and climbing in after her. All his earlier hesitations were going with the wind, and he doubted they were ever coming back. Rogue could be quite convincing when she wanted to, and maybe it was about time he stopped treating her like a kid. As she had said, she was more than capable of making her own decisions. Like the one she seemed to have just made to kiss her way down his neck. Logan thought that was a helluva good decision from her part, and decided that he would have to do the same to her.

His lips worked their way down her neck and sucked briefly on the pulse point there. He could both hear and feel her pulse rise as her heart beat harder and harder. Slowly he continued his path of kisses, travelling down her collarbone and dipping into the valley between her breasts. Her top had a generous cleavage, and he took advantage of that now.

As he cast a glance up at her he saw that her head was resting against the pillows, her eyes were closed, and her lips slightly parted. She looked breathtaking.

Logan kissed his way down her stomach, until he reached the bottom of her top. He pulled the fabric out of the way and let his tongue slide over the exposed skin, tasting the sweetness of her. Rogue's hands gripped his hair, tugging at it and getting his attention. He looked up at her, and grinned when he saw her looking down at him from under heavy eyelids. How had he ever been able to resist her for this long?

Logan found that her clothes was in the way, and he was getting impatient so he popped one claw from his knuckles and slid it inside her top. A small yank and her top spilt open down the front, revealing her lacy black bra. When he moved to cut that off as well Rogue's eyes widened and she knocked away his hand.

"Not the bra! I happen to like it very much, and there are ways to get if off without ruining it," she said and slid her arms under her back and unhooked it, sliding it off in a sensuous way that made Logan growl deep in his chest. He wasn't feeling patient at all. He wanted her, and he wanted her now, goddamit!

The moment the bra was discarded he attacked the newly exposed skin with kisses while working on her pants, trying to get them off as quickly as possible. In the meanwhile Rogue's hands where tugging at his shirt, her hands running over the skin of his neck and shoulders, her nails scratching every time his tongue paid attention to her nipples.

It didn't take him long to get the button and zipper of her pants open, and he rose to his knees to pull them and the underwear she had underneath off and toss them away.

The voice in his mind that had kept insisting that he couldn't be with her like he wanted to had been thoroughly defeated by the one that wanted her so bad it hurt, and he wasn't having any regrets, wasn't thinking that he couldn't—shouldn't—do this anymore. The animalistic parts of him were in charge, and all they thought as his eyes roamed over her naked body was, _mine, mine, mine._ He wasn't going to ever let her go, and he'd skewer that winged pretty boy before he could ever take her out on a date.

Rogue seemed a bit uncomfortable as his eyes drifted over her exposed form, but maybe that was because she was naked, and he was still fully dressed. With the way she started tugging at his shirt he thought that maybe that was the case. And he had to make her comfortable hadn't he?

It didn't take him long to pull off his shirt and squirm out of his jeans. And as soon as he was as naked as she was he crawled up next to her, claiming her lips in a passionate kiss.

Hands were caressing, lips and tongues exploring, and it was everything Logan could have ever hoped for. Rogue's skin was soft, her hands eager and so damned skilled. When she curled her fingers around his cock he could do nothing but groan and try to keep himself under control so he wouldn't come the very instant.

"Rogue..." he groaned and nestled his forehead against her neck as her thumb gently stroked over the head of him. He wanted to do this properly, and take him time, but this had been building up for too long, he wasn't sure how long he would last.

"I'm ready, please, I want you," Rogue moaned, her voice hoarser than he had ever heard it before. It was dripping with lust.

"What about..." it felt like a turn off to be talking about protection at this stage, but he had no intention of knocking up Rogue, it would just mean trouble. Better safe than sorry, eh?

"I'm on the pill, sugar, no worries," she said with a mischievous wink that just about did him in. He grasped her thighs, spread them apart enough that there was plenty of room for him, and with a hand on his member he positioned himself at her entrance. He cast a glance up at her, to make sure she really wanted this, that there would be no regrets. But she had her head tossed back; her eyes closed, and arched her back in an invitation.

Logan didn't hesitate another moment, and slowly, to make sure it was pleasurably for her, he slid inside her. It was pure bliss. She was tight, wet, and everything he could have ever wished for. He claimed her lips in a passionate kiss as he found a slow pace gliding in and out of her.

She wrapped her shapely legs around his waist, spurring him on, but he tried to keep his pace slow, so he wouldn't end up ruining this all too soon. But then she dug her nails into his back and in a sultry voice urged him to go faster, thrust harder, and he wasn't hard to ask.

His hands were grasping the sheets of the bed as he went faster, his tongue invading her mouth to imitate the movements of his hips. It didn't take long until he could feel himself getting closer to his release, but he'd be damned to come first, so he let go of the sheets with his right hand and slowly snuck it between their entwined bodies to slide across the triangle of hair where her legs met and rub across the nub there. He could hear her gasp when his finger first slid over it, and that just made him do it more, intent on making her lose herself in her orgasm before he allowed himself the release that was building up.

Under his ministrations it didn't take her long to lose herself in the throes of an orgasm, and as her lips opened in a silent scream and her head tossed backwards he let himself go, pounding into her until he could feel his balls tightening and release flood through him. His body tensed as it rode him, and when he had emptied himself in her he collapsed onto her, completely spent. He barely managed to roll off her so he wouldn't crush her, but that was just about all he was capable of.

He wasn't sure what was going to happen after this, what they were going to do, but he did know one thing. That little voice that he insisted he stay away from Rogue was not going to say another word. He was not going to let her go.

XxX

A sheepish grin slid over Rogue's lips as she heard Logan's heavy breathing and occasional snore. She had been afraid that he would just keep on talking about how she should be with other guys, but she had been pretty sure that he wouldn't have handled that very well. She had seen how little he had liked Bobby and soon a plan had started forming in her mind. If only she could get Logan jealous, show him that he couldn't deal with her being with anyone else, get him to act and just stop this silliness. She wanted him, and it was clear he wanted her, why did he have to be so stubborn?

She had to remember to thank Warren in the morning. He'd been a real sweetheart, saying yes to join in on this little charade. Which had worked absolutely brilliant. Logan seemed to be so jealous he couldn't control himself, and that was just what Rogue had wanted. She had just had to make him forget about all this 'I'm not good enough' crap he had going on. Warren had been a little hesitant at first, thinking there might be a real danger to his life messing with Logan's head like that, but Rogue had batted her eyelashes and begged, and he'd caved in and helped her with the little set-up. Rogue knew Logan would be listening, she's planned it enough that she knew when he'd be walking past and made sure Warren asked her out on a date just when Logan would hear it.

And then Logan had actually peered around the corner, and she, even if it wasn't a part of the plan, kissed Warren. The winged mutant had been a bit taken back, but didn't seem to mind much, and she knew it would have been the last drop for Logan that would, hopefully, get him to realise that he couldn't see her with anyone else. And, seconds later, she heard the familiar 'snikt' of his claws, and she just knew she had him. She just needed to catch him off guard, work some of her feminine wile and then hopedfully she would get him to just do what they both wanted.

She felt bad for tricking Logan like that, but she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him, he had even admitted to that some weeks ago, it was just getting him to stop glorifying her innocence, and at the time this had seemed like her best bet. And clearly, it had worked, seeing how he was lying next to her in all his naked glory.

Rogue told herself she'd tell Logan about it all later, so he wouldn't go ahead and do something to Warren, like kill him, but for now she just wanted to snuggle up against him and sleep.

* * *

A/N: Rogue's such a sneak ain't she? ;-) Anyhow, thanks for reading, hope you've enjoyed this three-shot! :D Oh, and if I ever get too graphic in my sex scenes, then just shout out. I write fics for this other page where there's no limits to how graphic it can't be, so I'm not sure what is too much for the ToS on ffn... :P


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